April 12, 2005

The Million Dollar Questions

In the last few weeks I have compiled a list of questions that, when answered honestly, will reveal the true character of any person. And not a general idea either, like a real solid line of exactly what kind of person you are. I invite you to answer them on your comments or on your own blogs (cuz I know you got nuthin'). These are monetary questions, and I ask you to include in the yes answers the actual lowest amount you would accept for these tasks:

#1. Would you punch your grandmother in the face for 1 million dollars?

#2. Would you let someone piss in your mouth for 1 million dollars?

#3.A. Would you let someone take a shit on your chest for 2 million dollars?

#3.B. What if nobody would know about it?

#3.C. What if EVERYBODY would know about it, with pictures?

#4.A. Would you let someone take a shit in your mouth for 5 million dollars?

#4.B. What if nobody would know about it?

#4.C. What if EVERBODY would know about it?
(yeah you would look at the picture wouldn't you, you sick fuck)

#5. Would you willingly contract:
A. genital worts for 5 million dollars?
B. oral herpes for 8 million dollars?
C. genital herpes for 10 million dollars?

As an aside, there is a debate as to which should be worth more, genital herpes or oral herpes; the argument being that oral herpes would be visible to everyone. I say look up genital herpes pics on the internet and there is NO QUESTION about which is worse.

#7. Would you willingly contract:
A. Crabs for $1,000?
B. The clap for $25,000?
C. Syphillis for $100,000?

Again, answer honestly. My answers will follow, as well as the best answers I get. There's no way anyone is going to beat this one guy though. I'll also analyze some people's answers to give you an idea about just how deep this info can get you into someone's psyche. Points will be awarded for the leaderboard as well. Remember, scoring is completely at my whim and reflects absolutely nothing.

Im interested to see Paul's answers.

Posted by John at April 12, 2005 12:22 AM | TrackBack

The only one I would even CONSIDER is punching grandma. How hard do I have to punch her?

All the rest of that bodily shit? No way...I don't need the money that bad. And frankly, I'm afraid I'd puke every time I thought about any of these acts for the rest of my life. That means I'd spend every single day of my life puking at least once. Too high a price to pay.

Posted by: Paul at April 12, 2005 12:16 PM

Check my trackback. I think everyone reaches a point in their life where they have to answer these kinds of questions. It's just a matter of when, because you can't ignore this kind of stuff forever. Some things are just way too important.

Posted by: shank at April 13, 2005 11:19 AM

John, you scare me sometimes....

in a good way, of course, but still...


Posted by: Susie at April 14, 2005 09:20 PM

Oh, great. Collins has gone missing again...

Posted by: Tuning Spork at April 25, 2005 10:59 PM

I wish someone paid me 10 million for herpes. Unfortunately I got it for free. What concern other things, there are situations in life when you'd agree to do even worse things

Posted by: Herpes Girl at July 4, 2005 12:37 PM
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