Today: Still tuesday.
Armondo: still sucks.
Funny stuff over at Sanity's Edge; Paul interviews my arch-nemesis, Bill.
Money Quote:
What is the best gag or practical joke you've ever pulled?
I'm not a big gag guy but I did tell my sister I had testicular cancer once on April Fool's Day and she actually bought it! I almost made her cry but then I felt bad and told her "April Fool's!" Ha ha. That was funny.
Too funny.
Otherwise, Tiger scared the shit out of me earlier.
Lucky for me, it was Jim Beam, not Jack Daniels. I'm a card carrying member of the Tennessee Squires Association, and I own 1 square inch of the Jack Daniels Distillery. That's why I'm all like, "Fuck Jim Beam. That guys a pussy."
Any other squires out there?
I hope Verizon doesn't go on strike. My dad works for them and if they go on strike he's gonna have to work 18 hours a day, AGAIN. I mean after 9/11 i could understand, but because a bunch of god damn commies want to never be fired no matter how slow and lazily they work, my old man has got to miss out on the one month a year he actually enjoys?(racing season at Saratoga) Bullshit. Normally I'm a union kinda guy, i feel for the working man and all. But seriously, these technicians have the life. They do 4 jobs a day. When my pops started, techs did 8 jobs a day. That's right, all you math majors, thats half the work. Twice the pay of course, even after you factor in inflation and cost of living, better benefits, and no chance of ever being fired. It's like working for the government. And people wonder why phone company service sucks! Here's a little tip for you; companies that can't fire people have incompetant employees. It's Planck's other constant. Spare me the "I want to make 80 grand a year for unskilled labor and never get fired no matter how much I sleep in my truck" bullshit and get to work, you god damn slackers.
This one time, at band camp, this guy turned fart jokes and pie fucking into 3 feature length movies. Hilarity ensues, followed by repetitiveness, followed by idiotic, plotless dribble.
At least I didn't have to see Gigli.
Did you know that your boss doesn't approve of you using the company fax machine to send your resume to other companies? Subtlety was never my strong point.
I don't need anger management Bill. Now stop saying that, or the possum won't be the only dead thing floating in your pool. Bastard.
Someone called me a liberal. He doesn't get a link for that. The gloves are off buddy, the gloves are off.
Posted by John at August 5, 2003 11:41 PM | TrackBackIf it's me you're referring to with that last note (I have no way of knowing since you obviously didn't say who it was, thanks) let the record show that I never (I don't think) called you a liberal only an evil commie scum. And as we all know Commies are really rightwing because they're totalitarian and therefore evil and therefore conservatives.
Or did you forget to go to your indoctrination classes today?
Anyway I would never call you a liberal, some things are just too mean. Unless I did and I've forgotten about it in which case screw you, you obviously deserved it.
Posted by: Tim the Michigander at August 6, 2003 01:00 AMI feel a lot of love in this blog.... Group hug?
Posted by: Susie at August 6, 2003 11:45 AMHe's so wrong that guy. Can I steal his link?
Posted by: Alice at August 6, 2003 12:19 PMLink my wife or I'll fucking kill you.
Posted by: Bill at August 6, 2003 03:54 PM