August 07, 2003

The Bishop's A Fag

So there's a fag bishop now. What the fuck?

You know what, go ahead and call me a bigot for all I fucking care. I don't go to church and i'm not religious. I don't hate gay people. But what the fuck!?!

A fag bishop. That's like Pete Rose becoming the next commissioner of baseball. Do they even care about the rules anymore!?!

There's certain things that just aren't done. There's a reason why they aren't done, and nobody should have to really explain them to anyone, because they are self evident. Black people don't join the KKK. Jews don't join the Palestinian Martyr Brigade. And until yesterday, fags didn't hold commanding office in the church.

RELIGIOUS PEOPLE DON'T LIKE GAY PEOPLE. Do you get it now? It's in their little club handbook there; being gay is bad. Those are their rules, out of their book. It's not real vague either. So why would you even join the church in the first place if your a sword swallower?

And what's worse is people who bitch about all the scrutiny this guy is getting, like its a big fucking shock that a few people who read the bible might have some kind of problem with the holy fudgepacker. How the hell do you think people are going to react? "Oh, they're repressing him! Let him be proud of who he is!" Guess what, asshole, that's not what church is about. Christianity isn't about being proud of who you are; in fact most of it is about what a scumbag you really are and what you should do to make up for it. Imagine what would happen if the pope stood up tomorrow and said "I could really go for a good hummer right now. Monica?" This isn't 'nam smokey, there are rules.

Gay marriage is fine by me. People are gay, then they are gay, and that's the way it is. But a gay bishop is just a bad idea. How about O.J. Simpson as a marriage counsellor? ill-advised. An irishman as your A.A. sponsor? Not recommended. Pete Rose, Michael Jordan and Bill Bennett in vegas with your credit card? Not a smart move, friend.

And no, this guy shouldn't be in the closet. Really, he shouldn't have stayed with his wife and kids either. He shouldn't have had a wife in the first place, but that's a bit of a moot point. He came out, he's gay, and he's dating some guy. I hope they are happy and I wish them the best. But he should step down from the church. You broke the rules man, that's the way it is. Ty Domi will never win sportsman of the year, and it ain't because he doesn't shake hands after the game.

Church is a placed for snobbish repressed people to be guilted into donating money and be told what to do. And now the guy who's reading the big book of rules and morality is breaking one of them. Actually now that I think about it, maybe its not such a bad idea. With all the other hypocrisy in the church, why not a gay bishop? Hell, let's marry off the catholic priests on reality T.V.! And we can change the 10 commandments to the 10 things we think you should maybe consider not doing but will understand if you do them anyway. Then NAMBLA can become the official sponsor of the clergy, and we can put Ernest and Julio Gallo advertisements on the cup of christ's blood. Why stop at the church bingo night? We not an all out brothel-o-nuns on the 2nd floor of the sunday school? Bring the church into the 21st century, right? The alter boys sell the heroine and the Deacon can administer the methadone clinic! "Body of Christ" sounds like a great street name for crystal meth to me. It will give me something to do while im waiting for my turn to bang my neighbor's wife. If the rules in the bible don't matter anymore, then what the fuck is the point in going to church in the first place?

Posted by John at August 7, 2003 05:08 PM


But what about all the gay people who are religious? Do they hate themselves?

Posted by: a different Bill at August 7, 2003 10:07 PM

Um, thanks for your support. I think.

Y'know, I've never met anyone, religious or not, who hated gays. And I live in one of the most conservative communities in the Western World, founded by hardline Dutch Calvinists a hundred-fifty years ago. And I am a Calvinist myself and privy to all our Top-Secrit World Domination Cabals.

You might want to keep the stereotypes to a minimum. I won't deny that it's certainly possible I may be a horribly repressed individual, thought. That would explain a lot of shit.

Posted by: Tim the Michigander at August 7, 2003 10:32 PM

Keeping stereotypes to a maximum is one of the founding tenants of this site...i thought you knew.

Posted by: Collins at August 7, 2003 11:09 PM

And yes, i seriously question the integrity of any homosexual who puts a great deal of value in religious beliefs. How can you believe in something that states that you yourself are evil? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Posted by: Collins at August 7, 2003 11:10 PM

How can one sit in church and listen to this cocsuckers message and not have the visual in your mind of this cornholer butt fucking his girly boy lover? How can that not detract from the message. Normally the preacher shakes hands with everyone on there way out-must the congregation bring it's own rubber gloves?

If faggotry and it's disgusting behavior is ok with the church then what is not OK. What is the point in going to such a church unless you are a fellow cornholer and are seeking approval.

Posted by: Bart at August 8, 2003 03:50 AM

Uhm, Bart, I think you're a little paranoid with the whole rubber gloves thing. The point isn't that he's gay, the point is that the church explicitly stands against homosexuality. It's like Sammy Sosa becoming the official bat checker of major league baseball. It's hypocritical of the message of the bible to have it delivered by someone who lives against its teachings. It's like me telling you not to curse; it just doesn't mean anything anymore.

Posted by: Collins at August 8, 2003 09:44 AM

Uhm, John, I would want to wear rubber gloves to shake his hands because I would know where his hands have been. I have just visualized it throughout the entire sermon.

Stop the fucking cursing god damn it.

Posted by: bart at August 8, 2003 12:39 PM

Yeah but that makes you an idiot. Every straight man who's hand you shake grabs his own junk at least 6 times a day when he takes a piss. Better get those gloves out.

Posted by: Collins at August 8, 2003 12:45 PM

John, you are even dumber than you look. How many of those straight guys might have aids germs on their hands? How many straight guys stick their fingers up the ass of another dude who might have aids? Why do you think that dentists wear rubber gloves now. (they didn't before aids)
You can shake this butt fuckers hand w/out rubber gloves if you want, but don't pick your nose until you dip them in kerosene.

Posted by: bart at August 8, 2003 01:34 PM

Yeah, we should all learn from the millions of people who got AIDS through unprotected hand shakes.

Posted by: Collins at August 8, 2003 02:33 PM

They don't tell you about them so as not to panic the public. If the public found out that you could get aids from a handshake, they would round up all the fages, hose em down with petro and burn em.

Imagine this scenario: Faggot preacher sticks his finger in aids infected ass, John Collins shakes his hand & then picks his nose. John Collins dies of aids and everyone says John must of been queer but John's mother insists he got it from picking his nose and no one believes her.

Posted by: bart at August 8, 2003 03:22 PM

Um collins hate to break up the little spat you've got going here but note that 'bart''s email address is You just got punk'd, dude.

And no, I didn't have anything to do with it. Wish I'd thought to though...

Posted by: Tim the Michigander at August 8, 2003 05:30 PM

what the fuck, well soon enough i know well will all be dead so i just laugh at this queer fucker bishop and his daughter and his boytoy queer anal buddy......i hate fags and hate people that support them .call me ignorant call me an asshole for all i care but when i see a queer in the street i wish him and all his family dead, the world is a piece of shit and these fucking fags are a reason for its destruction...ALMIGHTY GOD dont have mercy nor pity on these poor ignorant fags that they know what they are doing.........have mercy on people like me that have followed your guide and lived a proper life.ALL FAGS SHOULD DIE AND THE GAY FAG BISHOP SHOULD GET A BULLET IN HIS ANUS.......................................

Posted by: gaybasher at August 10, 2003 11:37 PM

A Bible passage sums up this really stupid move by the Episcopals. "By their fruits yee shall know them."

Hank R.

Posted by: Hank Reichenberger at August 15, 2003 05:33 AM

"Thy Rod & Thy Staff" takes on a whole new meaning in the Ang-Licken church. :)

Posted by: Allen Johnstone at August 15, 2003 11:21 AM

Hey, I'm Gay and I don't have ADIS and I shake peoples friends all the time.


Posted by: Pink Boy at October 13, 2003 04:28 PM

Hey, I'm Gay and I don't have ADIS and I shake peoples friends all the time.


Posted by: Pink Boy at October 13, 2003 04:29 PM

I am gay and I agree with the article. WE should NOT have a gay man in the church. He could turn all the priest gay and then all the little boys would go gay! Then the gay would spread throughout the world and we would have a global gay day. All little gay boys would wear leather and gay priest would spank them. I am gay and I say no way!

Posted by: Billy Suckalot at November 2, 2003 04:17 PM

I'm doing a controversial issue paper on same sex marriage and gay rights, i'm for it and was wondering if anyone would be interested in a short interview over e-mail. You wouldn't have to give me your name but it would help for my paper.

Posted by: Jessica at January 12, 2004 10:51 PM

The gay bishop is no allowed in the church because he may give people (AIDS/HIV).He may start sleeping with every men in the whole universe.Fuck the gay bishop he is fucking gay.He suck every man in church dick or balls.

Posted by: Adebiyi Adetunji at January 21, 2004 06:55 PM

you are so cool i love you

Posted by: david at February 2, 2004 09:15 PM
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