Collinization

Thursday

It's Thursday, and Lileks is back.

Ahhnold is running for governor of California. Hell, I'd vote for him. How much worse could he really do than Grey Davis? And how are you gonna smear this guy? We know he did steroids, and we know he has been a major benefactor of our dreaded "violent television" epidemic. Who gives a shit? Not me. And not California, with their insane deficit. What can you really say about Arnold that's going to resonate in California? One of the biggest athletes in the state is on trial for rape, and these people drive to Colorado just to cheer him when he leaves the court house. Good luck getting them to hate a movie star.

In other news, the breast cancer walk was a big success, and I got slapped 5 times. So you all gotta pony up 50 bucks and donate it to breast cancer research. The walk was run by a charity called 1 in 9, but I really don't care which charity you give it to. It's every man's duty to protect that which he loves most, and in this case, its the boobs. You do like boobs, don't you?

I'm usually a negative nancy, but today i'm gonna be a positive pete. The Yankees dished Armondo Benitez; all is right with the world. So no complaining until tomorrow; today is going to feature pure, unmitigated goodness.

Speaking of goodness, I haven't linked to Susie in a while.

Also, Paul interviewed Tiger today. He interviewed me on Monday, and neglected to tell me that I was just the opening act. Had I known that, I would've driven to his house and taken a shit on his front lawn, because I'm a headliner, not some scrubby comedian here to warm up the crowd. Oh well, so much for being positive pete. But maybe we should call him Positive Paul, based on the results of his Chlamydia tests last week. I'll have my revenge by asking him obscure and shitty questions on his interview. Maybe I'll make them all 3 paragraph questions that require yes or no answers.

Football season inches a little bit closer with every passing day. I can't fuggin wait. In fact, I've been wearing a helmet to work every day for a week now. They say I have to wear it if I want to get on the magical bus, but I'd wear it anyway.

Had an interview today, which was set up for me by a guy at a staffing firm. When I got there, the dude interviewing me said that the guy from the staffing firm spoke very highly of me. Which is weird, because I spoke to him for all of 2 minutes before he got me the interview. I wonder what he said to the other guy? I dunno, i think it went well, but the guy was being intentionally vague so we'll see. No word from my current boss about a raise though.

Gary Coleman is also running for Governor of California. What an awesome debate that would be! Too bad for Gary that everyone always votes for the taller candidate; he's gonna have to hop on Willis's shoulders if he is gonna take this one. I wouldn't vote for the real Gary Coleman, but I'd vote for Gary Coleman as portrayed in the Simpsons episode about the Furbies. He kicks tiny robot ass, with extreme prejudice. Although "With Extreme Prejudice" might not be the best campaign slogan. Might play in Alabama though.

Bill is talking to inanimate objects again, which surprises no one.

Well i'm off to find some horrible interview questions.

Posted by John at August 7, 2003 12:50 PM