August 22, 2003

Psychotic Readings

Derrick wants to know:

"I was thinking about a career change. I am a lawyer now, but I want to be a goat herder. Do you think it will work out? Would porn star be better?"

A career change is definately in your future Derrick. But since your already a lawyer, you can rule out porn-star, as going from fucking people in the ass to fucking people in the ass isn't a real career change as far as the Universe is concerned. Goat herder may be more to your liking, as you have the razor sharp wit required to keep Wile E. Coyote at bay. You will also change your name to Balke Bartokimos and do the dance of joy. Your lucky number is 8.74358743587435.....

Glenn wonders:

"I'm currently involved in a war of sorts with an overrated, racist, puppyblending college professor. How will this turn out?"

Victory is inevitable as poor struggle to overthrow the wealthy. At least that's what the communists thought, and we all saw how that turned out. But your side is that of the righteous, and the good guys always win because this is America, where the good guys also cheat. But it will not be without great sacrifice: as the token ethnicity, your fate is doomed. Everyone knows that the black guy always dies before the good white guy can triumph over the evil white guy and get the hot white chick, who probably would've chosen the black guy over the white guy had he not been killed by said evil white guy. So you can either win the blog war, or you can get a sweet piece of ass, but not both. Choose wisely. Your lucky number is 1,254,933,004.

A different Bill, who has a weird name, asks:

"I am about to go read Bill's blog, any chance I will find something entertaining there? Or will he still be whining about his wife getting hit on by sexy bloggers more than he is?"

Although i'm sure you will find much whining over at Bill's, there is the offhand chance that you may also find a link to me. Since I am superiorly entertaining, the answer is both. Your lucky number is 2.

Posted by John at August 22, 2003 04:38 PM | TrackBack
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