March 21, 2005

So this one time at the bar...

So I went to an irish pub on saturday, and the damndest thing happened to me. Hangin out, drinkin a couple of chardonnays and whathaveyou, the usual stuff. About midnight or so I go to take a piss.

So i get in there and its a tight little bathroom with a urinal and a stall right behind it, maybe 4 feet wide. So im standing there, I'd say im about 73% in the bag at this point(give or take 27%), and the door to the stall opens.

So here I am, drunk, in this tiny little bathroom with my dick in my hand, and this hot (and i mean HOT) chick comes out of the stall. So I look over at her, look back in front of me to make sure it was really a urinal and not the sink, and I say "Looks like one of us had the wrong door." She puts her hand on my shoulder, leans into my ear and says "sorry" and then brushes passed me, draggin her tits across my back. And I mean unneccessarily dragging; there was room. So just as im about to think of something completely retarded to say and fuck the whole thing up, she coughs a little bit and spits in the sink. Then she looks at me again, giggles, sniffles and wipes her nose, and walks out of the pisser. Then i turn and look and the toilet seat's up.

Now of course your first reaction, like mine, is a nasty ace ventura-esque "Your gun is digging into my hip". But lets review: Stall closed + toilet seat up + hot girl talking to me + spit + sniffle = coke slut. What a shame.

Posted by John at March 21, 2005 09:21 PM | TrackBack

So you're saying a tranny trumps a junkie. But does a cross-dresser beat a social user?

Posted by: Simon at March 22, 2005 02:51 AM

I'd heard about people bumping off toilet seats before. Aren't there about a million and a half other places to snort a line than the fugging public toilet? I'd just as soon take my chances and cut one up in the back alley and snort it off the pavement. Coke heads.

Posted by: shank at March 22, 2005 12:02 PM

My buddy back in University was telling me about his crack addict days: One morning they were jonesing so bad they were combing through the carpet for crack. They were overjoyed to find one, so they heated it up. *BAM* the thing exploded... it was just a pebble.

Sad.. sad existence. He's just lucky he kicked it, and the booze.

Posted by: Oorgo at March 22, 2005 06:50 PM

my guess would be that the seat being up indicates drug use b/c it shows she didn't use the stall to sit down; not that she did lines off the seat.

Although if I'm in men's restroom I will put the seat up b/c I'm embarassed and for some reason it seems like the polite thing to do. Then again I am normally drunk if I'm so pressed I need to use the men's room.

Posted by: anne at March 31, 2005 10:07 AM
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