Collinization

It's Thursday...

Well today is Thursday, and Armondo Benitez still sucks.

Apparently Bart doesn't like my ranting. That's because Bart molests chickens, and is only interested in rants about chicken molesting. You should try this blog for stuff like that.

Speaking of Bill, I think he tried to hunt me down and kill me yesterday, but he never made it.

Otherwise, I learned something valuable yesterday. If you don't blog all day, you actually get your work done. Who knew? Oh well, just another peice of useless knowledge for ya...

I feel its time to give you fair warning. Football season is about to start, and I'm obsessed with football. So if your not interested in football, I wouldn't read this blog too much on mondays if i were you. Also avoid tuesday, december 2nd, as the jets have a monday night game that week and so bitching will commence on tuesday instead. I'll be doing a segment every week called monday morning quarterback, where I second guess every decision Herm Edwards made that didn't go perfectly, and explain why everything would be better if I were in charge. Hillarity ensues. I'd actually like to find a blogger fan of each team the jets play this year. And on the day after the game, whoever's team wins gets to insult the hell out of the other guy(and his team), and said other guy has to take it quietly and link to the insulting post. I'm predicting a 10-6 season this year, so that means that i'll have to take it like a bitch at least 6 times this year if i get enough participants. So if you are a fan of any of the following teams and are interested in doing this, drop me a comment and we'll set something up. Pre-season, of course, doesn't count. Here's the list of teams the jets play this year:

Washington
Miami x2
New England x2
Dallas
Buffalo x2
Houston
Philadelphia
NY Giants (this will be a good one)
Oakland
Indianapolis
Jacksonville
Tennessee
Pittsburgh

So holla back if you want to play. Thick skinned people only, please. Oh yeah, and you have to actually watch the game.

Hey Glenn! You see Giambi last night? Home run and two doubles, only 1 behind the AL home run leader. Bet you wish he was still on Oakland about now:)

Otherwise, some guy was holding a hostage in long beach yesterday, and the swat team resolved it without killing anyone. Pussies. What happened to the good ole days of "lure him out into the street and then blow his fucking brains out with a sniper?" I miss those days.

Mike the Marine beat me in Frak J.'s "im too lazy to finish this story" contest. According to Frak, he won cuz he complained the most. The lesson here is that if you bitch enough you always get your way. You can see this lesson in action at customer service counters across the country. But seriously, Mike's ending was pretty funny, so go and read it. Mine's down there in the comments, cuz im too cool to be on the main page.

Tim the Michigander brought his love doll home to meet his parents. Go congratulate him by posting "You suck!" in his comments.

I was supposed to have a softball game yesterday, but it was cancelled due to perfect weather. No, actually the other team couldn't get enough guys together to play. But you know what's really fun? Driving from the north shore to the south shore of long island at 5 pm. You'd have to live here to understand, but let's just say I saw a guy get a flat, pull over, fix it, and pull back on the road, and i hadn't even passed him in that time. Good times, good times.

That's all I got for now. But if you read all the way down to this part, then you're really, really bored. So get back to work you god damn slacker!

p.s. I don't proofread. Ever. So if you see a spelling or grammar error, tough shit, i'm not fixing it.

Posted by John at July 31, 2003 11:38 AM